Tuesday, 10 June 2008

nothing demanding my time

london
I was in the gym yesterday when suddenly I felt as if there was something I had to do. Then I realised there was nothing I had to do, and I really started to relax and put my whole mind to the gym workout. I also felt such a relief that I had nothing that needs me to do in the near future nor even in the far future.
I have noticed this feeling coming up now and then, in the most unexpected situations, that i should be somewhere and then when I realise i dont have to, such a feeling of happiness that i am free.
How easy my life,that I should get such happiness so easily.
This feeling of having all the time in the world, and no one is needing me to do anything or no duty forcing me to do anything is such a great feeling. I wonder whether anyone else have it? I doubt it, for I have never heard anyone mention it?
Most people when they say they are happy are doing something, or having something or being somewhere else, or being with someone else.
A lot of people have known such pleasure when they thought they have to be somewhere, and then realising, 'hang on, I don't', and feeling such a wave of pleasure at realising that.
i seem to have developed this way of creating happiness and pleasure for myself by creating the thought and momentary anxiety of thinking i have to be doing something else, and then getting the pleasure afterwards of not having to do it. see how easy it is to generate happiness?
Yesterday was also a fire drill in the building where the gym is part of. I was in the sauna with two other guys, who spoke some language I have never heard of, it was about 4.30pm when there was the alarm and we ignored it till someone came in and told us to get out of the building and even then, i went and got dressed instead of rushing out. All the guys in the locker room were doing the same thing, until I realise to get a move on. If this is a real fire, we would all fry!! haha.
That is the trouble with fire drills, no body takes it seriously. I think anyone who did would be laughed at, yet if there is a real fire, the person who gets out first will have the last laugh.

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